Loving Truth and Peace--4

Counting the Cost

From dawn to dusk the correction and copying of the Gulag went forward; I could scarcely keep the pages moving fast enough. Then the typewriter started breaking down everyday, ... This was the most frightening moment of all: we had the only original manuscript and all the typed copies of Gulag there with us. If the KGB suddenly descended, the many-throated groan, the dying whisper of millions, the unspoken testament of those who had perished, would all be in their hands, and I would never be able to reconstruct it all, my brain would never be capable of it again.

I could have enjoyed myself so much, breathing the fresh air, resting, stretching my cramped limbs, but my duty to the dead permitted no such self-indulgence. They are dead. You are alive: do your duty. The world must know all about it.

They could take my children hostage – posing as “gangsters,” of course. (They did not know that we [my wife and I] had thought of this and made a superhuman decision: our children were no dearer to us than the memory of the millions done to death, and nothing could make us stop that book.)

 

Excerpt from The Oak and the Calf, 1975, A. Solzhenitsyn, English translation, 1979, 1980 by Harper and Row Publishers. 

 

The Oak and the Calf:  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Oak_and_the_Calf

The Gulag Archipelago: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gulag_Archipelago

MC New Year(nings)--5

Loving Truth and Peace

A new year's toast--to loving truth and peace.  
Napa Valley, California. ErinOD (c) 2012

In our lives:

Love truth and peace.

In our hearts:

Love truth and peace.

In our relationships:
Love truth and peace.

In our spheres of influence:

Love truth and peace.

Even when it is scary and risky:

Love truth and peace.

Even when there are negative consequences:
Love truth and peace.

Love truth and peace
and people.

*****

Do not fear. These are the things which you should do: speak the truth to one another; judge with truth and judge for peace in your courts. Also let none of you devise evil in your heart against another, and do not love perjury, for I hate all these things, declares YHWH....Therefore, love truth and peace. (Zechariah 8:14-19, excerpts, circa 520 BC)

Member Care and Transparency—Part 6, Summary

Developmental Musings on Living Shalom

Transparency involves sharing truth wisely.

It builds trust and promotes true peace—shalom (שָׁלוֹם).

Shalom is what we yearn for in member care and in life:
“holistic well-being for all."

Speak the truth to one another

and judge truthfully so that there will be shalom

…therefore love truth and shalom (Zechariah 8:16,19).

*****

We love these wise words above from Zechariah, the 6th century BC Jewish prophet. They are core guidelines for us. Call us on skype sometime, for example, and you will see these words pop up by our profile: "Love both truth and peace." But more importantly, we want these words to be permanently engraved on the profiles of our hearts. May they guide you and all of us now into the personal integrity and relational health that are needed to truly do member care well. Live shalom.

Summary Principles: 12 Thoughts on Transparency

**Transparency is developed throughout our lives and especially influenced by our parents and other role models.

**Transparency is part of our core being and is part of a lifestyle of integrity.

**Transparency is a commitment to honesty with ourselves and others.

** Transparency builds trust and trust builds relationships.

**Transparency involves having the courage to admit errors and wrong actions.

**Transparency involves having the courage to compassionately confront others.

**Transparency is a core part of accountability, both personally and organizationally.

**Transparency is the responsibility of both leaders and staff in organizations.

**Transparency is modeled by leaders who share information, self-disclose, and invite honest feedback.

**Transparency requires prudence to determine how much, when, and with whom to openly share.

**Transparency requires risk, and taking risks is often part of acting ethically.

**Transparency promotes holistic well-being for all.

Transparency and Friends
The photo below is a bit unusual for sure. These folks are 12 special little “buddies” in our office. Can you find them all? Perhaps you have some similar things in your office? (smile)

                                 

For example, there's the Gingerbread Boy home-made in France, a Limber Jack from Vermont USA, Gumby the animation celebrity with klompen shoes from The Netherlands, a subdued Pinoccio from a Roman vendor, Tony the Tiger of Kellogg's Frosted Flakes fame wearing an American football helmet and heroically brandishing a sword, a Hongkongese rooster, a medievel knight on his trusted three-legged steed, and even a little green shamrock sprouting arms and legs.

These wee folks come from all over the world and mostly from places where we have lived or worked. They are daily reminders of some great human friends we are privleged to have across the globe--people with whom mutual transparency and holistic well-being are central parts of our relationship. And I guess now these 12 buddies in our office will also be reminders of the 12 principles of transparency summarized above.

Transparency—The Book

Here is a final set of quotes from Bennis et al in Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor (2006). This is a timely book to further instruct all of us in the mission/aid and member care community.

"Leaders need to question their willingness to hear certain voices and not others. They need to make a habit of second-guessing their enthusiasms as well as their antipathies, since both can cloud their judgment." (p. 27)

“…Leaders demonstrate their respect by giving followers relevant information, by never using or manipulating them, and by including them in the making of decisions that affect them.…That’s why the failure to include people is the second-most common source of mistrust, close behind the failure of leaders to tell the truth consistently…To renege on one’s word may seem necessary to some leaders, but in the eyes of followers it is a betrayal of trust...In essence, trust is hard to earn, easy to lose, and, once lost, nearly impossible to regain.” (p. 63)

"….three requisite steps for the exercise of integrity [from Yale law professor Stephen Carter]: 1. Discerning what is right and what is wrong; 2. Acting on what you have discerned, even at personal cost; 3. Saying openly that you are acting on your understanding of right and wrong." (p. 72)

Reflection and Discussion

1. Which of the above 12 summary thoughts on transparency are the most relevant for you now?

2. Are there additional thoughts (principles) that you would like to add to this list?

3. Who are you true friends with whom you can be mutually transparent?

4. Transparency is part of integrity. It can be risky. Give an example, especially in light of the final quote from Bennis et al (quoting Stephen Carter on integrity).

*****

Note: Here is little treat for you who have read through all of these six entries. Turn up the volume and enjoy! It’s a six minute clip from Paul McCartney’s 2008 concert in Quebec. C’est très bon et très cool! The last two minutes are especially relevant. Live shalom!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thecXP_0eVc

Member Care and Transparency—Part 3

Developmental Musings on Parenting Truth

Parenting truth?

By this I mean that parents instruct and influence their children
about how to tell the truth.

It's about how kid's and all of us develop and internalize
the virtue of being honest.

*****

I remember when I was about 15 years old. I was practicing backing the new car out of our garage in California. The car was actually a dealer car from my father’s Buick-Opel franchise. It was pretty fun having a dad who owned a car dealership. The possibility of driving lots of new cars was really exciting to me! The photo above was taken about a year later than this actual story, in June 1972, at the car dealership. This is my family. I was the fourth oldest and the third youngest.

OK. Back to backing out of the garage. I was doing this for the first time, all by myself, with my mother’s permission, fairly confident that I could do it. I was pretty much in awe to be able to drive, even if it were only for a few feet! I had begun to tackle the first stages of this developmental milestone—becoming more independent by learning how to transport myself hither and yon with the help of an internal combustion engine.

Apparently at age 15 I did not know how to back out of garages very well, as I was soon to learn. The front side of our shiny Buick station wagon hit the brick wall of the garage. This unexpected event resulted in a conspicuous dent in the car, a chunk of brick chipping off the garage wall, and a near state of panic on my part. What was I to do?

The standard tapes started to play in my mind. If I told my mom she would be angry and I would get into trouble. It would also show her and the rest of my family that I was not mature and skilled enough to drive yet. But above all, it would remind me of a spectre in my past. It was a fiasco from six years previously when I managed to crash a new family station wagon into a tree at the bottom of the hill on our street. Don’t ask. Fortunately no one was injured. But I really felt stupid, and ashamed, and scared. Anyway, back to age 15 and to the same painful feelings that were stirring deep within. What was I to do?

Well, I ended up taking the higher ethical road. I told my mom about what had happened. But only after I had taken the lower ethical road first: I clumsily glued the brick chunk back to the wall and let my mom take the car out for a drive for a day or two in hopes that she would think that the car got dented by some other vehicle (by some unscrupulous person that would not tell her of his/her driving error) while it was parked in some parking lot.

Two days later, my mom did in fact notice the dent. Somehow she just seemed to know intuitively that the dent was not due to some other vehicle or person. It was due to me. Parents seem to not only have extra eyes on the backs of their heads but special eyes that can peer into the soul. And so my mom simply asked me if I was responsible for the dent. And frankly, I am so glad she asked me because I was just swarming in guilt about how I had tried to cover up. It was such a relief to be gently confronted and to tell her the whole story and even how I tried to glue the brick back to the wall in order to disguise the scene of the crime.

I remember my mothers calm, corrective attitude. I remember her not minimizing my mistake nor the far greater mistake (sin) of covering up my mistake. I appreciate how my mother dealt with the situation and how she dealt with me. She was parenting the truth.

Trans-Transparency:
Non-Selective Honesty with Self, Others, and God

Transparency begins by peering into our own souls. Such self-scrutinizing, especially for those with member care responsibility, is to be built into our lifestyle. It is self-honesty. It is reinforced by relationships with confidants to whom we give permission to peer into our lives. And we learn it from our parents and the significant adults in our lives as we grow up, and as they model honesty to us.

Transparency also involves God in a big way. God desires that we acknowledge reality—truth—in our core being (Psalm 51:6). We entreat God to help us be transparent—to search us and know our hearts (Psalm 139:26). The search for transparency, truth, self-honesty is especially important given the fact that our own hearts, like those of all humans, are deceitful and even desperately sick (Jeremiah 17:9 ).

One other thing I have learned over the years. We usually think we are far more transparent and accountable than we actually are. A corollary to this is we believe we are acting with far more integrity and honesty than we actually may be. Still another corollary is that sometimes we are only transparent and honest when we have to be and/or after a wrong behaviour or mistake is discovered. This is why we need the light of God and others in our lives. So we must trust ourselves but at the same time not entirely so.

Transparency—The Book

Consider this next quote from Bennis et al in Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor (2006). As I shared in the previous entry, if there were a book I would recommend right now to colleagues in member care and mission/aid it would be this one. Especially the first chapter. Read and discuss and apply it! Remember, it is not just about “them.” It is about all of us.

"The best way for leaders to start information flowing freely in their organizations is to set a good example. They must accept, even welcome, unsettling information. If leaders regularly demonstrate that they want to hear more than incessant happy talk, and praise those with the courage to articulate unpleasant truths, then the norm will begin to shift toward transparency. Transparency is one evidence of an organization's moral health." (p. 42)

Reflection and Discussion

1. Think of a time when you made a mistake and tried to cover it up? What did you feel inside, what did you do, and what did others do?

2. Is there something currently that you need to be transparent about?

3. How much transparency is appropriate and with whom are we transparent?

4. Find a few ways that the above quotes from Bennis et al apply to your life and work setting.

Member Care and the Hippocratic Oath, Part 6

Character and Competence

La Era (garden), Diego Rivera, 1904
*****
El sabio, con corona,
como leon semeja;
la verdad es leona
la mentira es gulpeja.
Sem Tob, 14th century, Spain

Translation :
Wise people are like lions:
Crowned in truth they hold their ground.
But lying foxes run around.
*****
But I will preserve the purity of my life and my arts.
I will not cut for stone,

even for patients in whom the disease is manifest;
I will leave this operation to be performed by practitioners,

specialists in this art.

Hippoctratic Oath
*****

For member care practitioners, and all of us with member care responsibility, character and competence are inseparable in our lives. Said another way, we want to extol and develop both virtue and skill. And we want to help others–-fellow practitioners, organizations, clients, etc—to do the same.
*
The notion of character, broadly speaking, is embodied in the Hippocratic commitment to “preserve the purity of my life and arts”. It necessitates practicing ethically and living ethically.
*
The notion of competence—or more specifically working within one’s sphere of competency—is seen in the commitment to “not cut for stone”. Apparently this refers to the surgical removal of things like gall stones or kidney stones. Such practices at that time in 4th century Greece were not part of the purview of medical practitioners.
*
It bears mentioning that during our work in member care we are often stretched both:

**ethically (not everything in our work of course is black and white—and we cannot always know the consequences of our interventions) and

**experientially (not everything we do fits neatly into our training backgrounds—and we cannot always know what the “best practice” will be).
*
I appreciate the simile of the lion cited above from Rabbi Sem Tob’s heptasyllabic quartet (that sounds serious—well, what I mean is that it is a short poem written in a certain manner :-) Tob's creative gem states that our crowning wisdom is demonstrated through our courage and clarity in speaking/acting truthfully (holding our ground with the truth, not being distracted from our course, and being open to input when the truth is not clear).

*

By “truth” I mean the conformity of mind to reality, as the Scholastics would say (e.g., Thomas Aquinas et al). Of course we could then ask what is mind and what is reality! But I will leave that for others to deal with who are far more learned than I am.

*

What I am really getting at here via the blend of Sem Tob's morality poem, Hippocrates' oath, and Rivera's painting, is that we are committed in the member care field to work knowledgeably and ethically within our "gardens"--that is, our spheres of influence. Knowledge and ethics are all part of the character/competency core.
*
Here are three related items--resources--that you will hopefully find helpful. (from Kelly O’Donnell)
*
1. Some Suggested Ethical Guidelines for the Delivery of Mental Health Services in Mission Settings, Helping Missionaries Grow, (1988) p. 469
**MHPs [mental health practitioners in missions] are dedicated to high standards of competence in the interest of the individuals and mission agencies which they serve. They recognize the limits of their training, experience, and skills, and endeavor to develop and maintain professional competencies. MHPs keep abreast with current professional information and scientific research related to their work in mission settings.
-----
2. Upgrading Member Care: Five Stones for Ethical Practice (2009)
**MCWs are committed to provide the best services possible in the best interests of the people whom they serve…. Character, competence, and compassion are necessary to practice member care well.
*

**[Character] refers to moral virtue, emotional stability, and overall maturity. Basically, the qualifications for leaders in Timothy and Titus reflect the types of character traits needed for MCWs. Those in member care ministry have positions of trust and responsibility, and work with people who are often in a vulnerable place. Therefore they need to model godly characteristics as they minister responsibly—to protect/provide for those who receive their services…

*

**[Competence] refers to having the necessary skills to help well (via life experience and training). I have found that competence is not necessarily based on degrees or certification, although the systematic training that is required to get these “validations” is a very important consideration. Others without such institutional validation are also capable of doing member care well (usually via more supportive than specialized care), and indeed in many places they are the primary service providers (e.g., peers, team leaders). Note that MCWs, like others in the health care fields, can be “stretched” at times to work in ways that may go beyond their skill level. And many services can be in ambiguous, complex, and difficult settings, with the outcomes (positive or negative) not easy to predict. Caution and consultation with others are needed in such cases…
*

**[Compassion] refers to our core motivation for member care work. It is the love of Christ that compels us. We value people for their inherent worth, and just for their “important” work.
-----
3. Member Care Involvement Grid—Strengths and Preferences (2003, adapted)
This grid helps us to identify the “fit” and practice parameters for ourselves and colleagues. This grid is a continuum. It could also be used as part of a simple/informal team building exercise as a way to get to know other MCWs and understand their strengths and preferences. Note that there are many other items that cold be included on this grid. What would you include?

*
Administration focus/involvement-----People focus/involvement
Working by oneself mostly-----Working as part of a group mostly
Mostly provide member care-----Mostly develop member care
Working groups that Talk/think-----Work groups that “Task”/do
Services as needed/requested-----Systematic/planned services
Local geographic focus-----International geographic focus
One main ministry focus-----Multiple ministry focus
One specialty-----Many specialities
One organization focus------Interagency focus
Connection in a sector-----Connection in many sectors
Additional
*****

Reflection and Discussion (apologies for the “leading questions”!)
1. Should the member care field be regulated to better ensure the quality of services and qualifications of service providers? If so, how?
*
2. How do we measure competence in member care practitioners?
What could be some specific behavioural criteria to consider (so not just academic degrees, titles, job descriptions, time living in another culture etc.)?
*
3. How could the member care sector build program evaluation/outcome studies/research into the member care field in order to empirically measure the effectiveness of the various types of services/interventions that we provide? Is it appropriate—ethical--to continue providing and developing services without assessing their effectiveness?

*

4. How relevant is the notion of developing evidence-based, expert-consensus guidelines for member care practice? What are the criteria for "evidence"--"expert"--"consensus"?!

Member Care and Organisational Health

Signs of Organisational Health

I am back at Ards Friary, Donegal Ireland. In my mind. In my heart. I come here often. Thinking about healthy organisations. Thinking especially about healthy faith-based organisations. Orwell has been so helpful. But what are the positive examples? How did the Franciscan monks for example, such as here at Ards Friary, maintain a healthy organisational life--and a healthy community?

How rewarding it is to work in an organisation, a community, a team, a network, with these features:

1. Mutual respect among staff
2. Fair pay/compensation
3. Opportunities to make contributions
4. Opportunities for advancement and personal growth
5. Sense of purpose and meaning
6. Management with competence and integrity
7. Safeguards to protect individuals (staff and customers) from injustice
8. Responsibility for actions: owning mistakes, not blaming others or covering up
9. Honesty in communication and public disclosures: not slanting the truth or exagerating
10. Accountability for personal/work life: seeking out feedback and ways to improve, not ignoring or pretending
*

Reflection and Discussion
1. How would you add to or adjust the above list?
2. What are the three core characteristics in an organisation that would make you want to be part of it and really contribute?

Member Care and Member Tear

Orwell in October--Part 2

We are exactly the people and organisations we have become.

[Animal Farm and 1984] can be read…as a strong preventive medicine against the mentality of servility, and especially against the lethal temptation to exchange freedom for security; a bargain that inevitably ends up with the surrender of both…
Christopher Hitchens, 2003, Introduction.

**Servility is a dysfunctional form of the servanthood extolled in the New Testament.
**Exchanging freedom for security is a dysfunctional form of laying down one’s life extolled in the New Testament.

Both involve the loss of the rights and responsibilities:

to speak and think freely

to tell the truth and to be told the truth

to require accountability and to request change.

Servility and the loss of freedom dehumanise us.

They necessitate self-deception and other-deception.

Organisations/groups tainted with such dysfunctions and which remain unchecked, increasingly become unsafe places to work.

Ultimately, these dysfunctions tear the members apart.

Let's call it Member Tear.
How endemic and/or epidemic is this in the mission/aid sector?

***

Animal Farm
Note: The context for the next five paraphrased quotes involves naivete, manipulation, and lies:

1. "Loyalty and obedience are more important than bravery."
2. "You have probably only dreamed these things, comrades.
…the animals were content to think that they had made a mistake in their thinking."
3. "I can't believe that this would happen here on our farm. I don't get it. We must be wrong. I am just going to have to work harder to solve this."
4. "The animals were one again bewildered, but with the able convincing of Squeeler they once again believed that it was their own memories that were faulty."

5. "It was easy to prove to the other animals that there was plenty of food, in spite of the actual appearances."
***
And now the ending of Animal Farm:
"Twelve angry voices were shouting, each of them like the other…pig shouting at man, and man shouting at pig, and pig at man again; but it had already become impossible to tell them apart. "
*
Reflection and Discussion
**The essence of Member Tear is to distort the truth in a way that hurts others. Comment on this assertion.

**Pigs become humans and humans become pigs. For Orwell, this means that people can and do have the propensity to become evil and exploit others. Comment on why this propensity—Member Tear-- might be hard to understand, accept, and to change.

*

Note:

"[Animal Farm, published in 1946] is an allegory in which animals play the roles of the Bolshevik revolutionaries and overthrow and oust the human owners of a farm, setting it up as a commune in which, at first, all animals are equal. However, class and status disparities soon emerge between the different animal species. The novel describes how a society's ideologies can be manipulated and twisted by those in positions of social and political power, including how a utopian society is made impossible by the corrupting nature of the very power necessary to create it." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_Farm

Member Care and Moral Courage

Your task is to be true not popular.

Popularity contests are not truth contests.
Your true being brims over into true words and deeds.
Luke 6, The Message

***

Transparency is understood to be a key part of good governance. The ideal seems to be that the more a company discloses about what is happening within it, the less chance there will be for misconduct, and the greater chance there will be for effective performance. Yet companies can and still be deceptive and commit fraud even if they disclose what they are required to do so legally. Two recent examples are Enron and Parmalat. They disclosed all kinds of of data per statutory requirments in the United States and Europe. However both companies deceived the public about what was really going on in their businesses. The issue was certainly not transpparency. Rather it was honesty--telling the truth.
paraphrased from The Myth of Transparency, Zachary Karabell, Newsweek July 14, 2008, page 47

***

Reflection and Discussion
**Think of a time when telling the truth was very costly for you personally.
**Think of a time in the near future when telling the truth may also be very costly.
**Do you have the moral courage to be more true than popular?

The Kindness of Strangers

Humanity is stronger than violence
Truth is stronger than evil
*****

I have been enjoying reading Kate Adie’s autobiography, about her life as a reporter, journalist, and war correspondent for the BBC. Specifically, I have appreciated how her forays into risky areas inundated with human conflict of international proportions, significantly overlaps with the experiences and purposes of mission/aid workers. Here are some of her final thoughts from the book (p. 425, The Kindness of Strangers, 2002).

"I never expected to be a reporter…It’s an honourable trade, whose practitioners exchange a privileged position at significant events for the obligation of telling others exactly what has happened…you take away with you a sense of the wonder that survival and humanity are stronger than violence and suffering….Occasionally you get a little too close to stories, and your fellow man tries to swat you out of existence."

Reflection and Discussion
Change the word ‘reporter” in the above excerpt, to “mission/aid worker”.
Now comment on how one or more of the statements below can apply to mission/aid settings for you and others.”
**Speaking the truth—“telling others exactly what has happened”
**Knowing the limits of evil—“survival and humanity are stronger”
**Taking risks to know the truth—“your fellow man tries to swat you out of existence”

Priestly Words and Poisoned Words

Thinking about:

Shakespeare (circa 1600AD)

plus Malachi (circa 400BC) and Peter (circa 60AD).

*****

The lips of a priest preserve knowledge

(Malachi 2:7)
**

We are a kingdom of priests and we proclaim how God excels

(I Peter 2:9)
**
Hide not thy poison

with such sugar'd words.
(Shakespeare, Henry VI, Part II)

**

Dysfunction dupes. It does not demonstrate "how God excels."

Truth is our asset, our ally, our antidote to dysfunction.

**

Reflection and Discussion

**In what ways might we currently "misrepresent reality" with our "sugar'd" words?

**When might it be appropriate to withhold "truth"?

(assuming there is a "hierarchy of ethical values/priorities")

**What does truth have to do with member care?

Relational Reality and Dysfunction

Truth, Peace and Pseudo-Mutuality
**

Zechariah 8:19 unequivocally exhorts us

to “love truth and peace” in our relationships.

Truth and peace are the “sine quo non” of relational health. They are the two core criteria to help us assess our “relational reality”. Truth and peace are very different from the common “dysfunctional counterfeits” of half-truths and feigned unity. We often settle for these counterfeits, although deep inside we really want relationships that are much more healthy. But are we willing to pay the price?
**

As an illustration, consider this drawing below, from one of my first “books” called Tommy Tomato Runs Away (1968). What does this picture say about the Tomato family’s “relational reality”? How close are they—physically and emotionally--as they sit around the table? Tommy is on the right, the mom is on the left, and the dad is in the middle. They are all smiling, but they are distant….and this incongruence is a tell-tale sign that something is not right.

A related concept is “pseudo-mutuality” from the family therapy field. This concept refers to relationships that are characterised by a superficial or even false intimacy. People pretend to be close, and everthing is always "nice"—hence there is a distortion of reality. Truth and peace get compromised. Dysfunctional systems and people practice this type of pseudo-mutuality.
**
In summary: The core purpose of dysfunction is to distort reality. This distortion helps to protect oneself, one’s family, one’s organisation, etc. It replaces truth and peace with the counterfeit--pretending.

Refection and Discussion
** To what extent are any of your current relationships reflected in:
a) the above picture, or b) the concept of pseudo-mutuality?
**What are a couple things you can do with your friends/colleagues in order to promote a “relational reality” characterised by more truth and peace?