Member Care and Transparency—Part 1

Developmental Musings on Playing Fair

What things do you remember when you were five years old?

Anything about being honest and fair?

I wonder what Josephine above would say.
She looks to be about five but she is actually 45 years old.

She was and still is Michele's doll.
She's a member of our family.
Josephine over the years has watched us all learn to play fair.

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I vividly recall a lesson in transparency that occurred when I was five. The lesson began with my eyeing the money-laden offering basket coming my way during a church service.

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I was sitting next to my father. He had just given me a quarter (25 US cents) for the offering. But as I held that quarter in my hand, and as the basket steadily progressed towards the pew where all six members of my family sat, a brilliant idea occurred to me. What if I substituted the six pennies (one cent coins) that were in my pocket and kept the quarter instead? It seemed like a good deal and a win-win situation. The church and God and I all would benefit.

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There was a problem though. I was not too adept at things like this. Another problem was that my nearly omniscient dad saw me, I realized after the fact, as I carefully, I mean slyly, put in my pennies. After the basket passed he turned to me and whispered: “Give me the quarter”, which I did. Then he said “You just lost your pennies.” My heart sank and my gaze did too.

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I will never forget how suddenly my clever, spontaneous plan had fallen to pieces and the shame I felt in having been discovered by someone who I looked up to. It was a hard but necessary learning experience. My understanding of justice and my understanding of self-deception really made progress that Sunday morning. I am very grateful to my father for his wise intervention.

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Transparency is Virtuous
Transparency refers to appropriately disclosing what is really going on in our work and lives, for better or for worse. Of course it would be helpful to discuss what "apppropriately disclosing" means. But for now let me just say that it means far more than simply abiding by minimal legal or minimal ethical standards. It means sharing accurate and full information with people to whom we are accountable. It means verifying, in terms of my story above, that we have given our quarters as expected and not our pennies. It also means saying that we gave pennies when we should have given quarters.

Transparency reflects our character and who we are. It is a core part of being honest and provides important evidence that we are trustworthy. Transparency and honesty are developmental virtues. We learn them over time and throughout our entire lives. Higher levels of transparency are motivated not simply to avoid negative consequences but rather to live in accordance with internalized ethical values.

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Transparency—The Book
Let’s look at a few short quotes from Bennis et al’s 2008 book Transparency: How Leaders Create a Culture of Candor. It's axiomatic: healthy people create healthy families—and healthy organizations. And unhealthy people create unhealthy families/organizations.

"A vital lie [in troubled families] masks a truth that is too threatening, dangerous, or painful to be spoken aloud. The vital lie preserves the surface harmony of the family but at great cost. Problems that are not acknowledged rarely get better on their own." (34)

"The emotion that seals people's lips about vital lies is the unconscious fear that if we look at and speak about these dangerous secrets, we will either destroy the family or be expelled from it. The anxiety of living with these secrets is often allayed by ignoring them." (35)

"Just as in families, organizational secrets distort relationships. Those sharing the secret tend to form a tightly knit bond while distancing themselves from outsiders, thus cutting themselves off from those who might expose them as well as those who might influence them in positive ways." (p. 37)

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Reflection and Discussion

1. Recall an experience in your life when you were confronted for your lack of transparency. What did you feel and what did you learn?

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2. Is there someone right now with whom you would like to be transparent? How could you do this?

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3. Think of a couple applications—positive and negative—of the quotes from Bennis et al to an organization with which you are familiar. How does transparency affect the organization?
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4. Let's suppose you have a favorite doll or stuffed animal that watched your actions over the course of your life so far. Sort of like Josephine in the picture above. This benevolent, forthright, and faithful companion could summarize the extent to which you play fairly, honestly, and transparently. What would the doll/stuffed animal say about you, in one to five sentences?

Dysfunctional Kisses

Dysfunctional things dupe.

Enemies will deceive.

But only friends can betray.

Member care is not just about development or restoration.
There is a key in-between dimension--protection.

Development---------Protection----------Restoration

Good member care helps to protect us from things like dysfunction (inlcuding our own). But nothing can totally protect us, especially from the negative consequences when deception and betrayal seek us out. Doing mission/aid well requires our being vulnerable: including the possiblity of being duped by the deceiving promises of an enemy or the betraying kisses of a friend.
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We protect ourselves by our commitment to good practice: transparency, accountability, sound judgement, and promoting the well-being of one another. We do good practice even if it inconveniences us. We act with integrity even if there are dire consequences.
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Reflection and Discussion
Creatively connect the thoughts above and the quotes below:
**Kiss me, you fool.
**Betrayest thou the Son of Man with a kiss?

Safe People, Safe Places, Safe Practices

Organisational Ethos and Self-Disclosure
An agency's culture, or ethos, significantly influences the quality of life of its people.
Personnel also help shape the ethos and the quality of life within the organisation.
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Every cross-cultural worker needs acceptable and safe outlets (people, places, practices) to openly share personal and group concerns. Some ways of doing this include spending time with friends and confidants, getting staff feedback from questionnaires, planning meetings where ideas and perspectives can be exchanged, and providing opportunities for confidential counseling. These outlets not only help develop staff, but they are also are real safeguards to prevent poor morale, bitterness, and needless frustration.
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An agency's ethos influences the types of outlets that are made available for its personnel. This in turn affects the way in which staff relate personal struggles and express feelings about departmental or organizational practices.
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In consulting at different faith-based contexts, we have observed various organizational styles for making self-disclosures. Agency/group ethos becomes a type of monitor, determining what and how comments can be made. This is especially true in group situations. Most agencies/groups seem to gravitate towards one or possibly two styles in particular, although this can change over time.
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Style 1--Spiritualisation of the past. The organization is most comfortable focusing on past issues using spiritual terms. Problems are usually only talked about when they have already been overcome. An example is the statement, "I thank God for victory over my temptation last month to rebel against my supervisor."
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Style 2--Past focus. Issues are discussed fairly openly, but usually not until they have already been resolved. They are not necessarily spiritualised, yet only shared when it is safe--that is, after the fact. Here is an example. "We were really upset about the decision to decrease furlough allowances, and were privately hoping that it would get overturned."
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Style 3--Spiritualisation of the present. Current issues and problems are discussed but referred to largely in spiritual terms. Spiritual concepts may be used as a metaphor to refer to other ideas and feelings. For instance, "This mission station needs to pray more", may mean "I am feeling really hurt that people around here seem to overlook me."
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Style 4--Present focus in vague terms. Current problems are mentioned in indirect, general, roundabout ways. Potentially threatening material is kept at a distance. An illustration would be a team leader who states at an inter-departmental meeting, "Its interesting working around here these days" when the real feeling might be more "The Personnel Department's chronic shortage of staff is significantly undermining our team's ability to recruit needed members."
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Style 5--Present focus with contact. This involves making genuine, usually direct comments, in which issues, feelings, and reactions are shared promptly. Feelings are seen as vital sources of information rather than stumbling blocks. The result is that everyone involved senses that real contact with each other has been made. "I so appreciate the quality of your work on this project" or "I am frustrated that this agency has an inner circle which makes all the decisions," would be examples.
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By and large the healthiest style in which to operate is Style 5, for those with a growing relationship. Well, at least this is true for many personnel from the Western world. We believe this reflects the Biblical admonition to "speak truth and pursue peace with one another" (Ephesians 4:25, Zechariah 8:19). The timing, attitude, and setting for such disclosures are, of course, crucial. It is easy to understand the inappropriateness of giving critical feedback at certain organizational or team meetings. The basic guideline is to edify, not simply express oneself candidly (Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 12:18). Responsibility always takes precedence over spontaneity.

(Based on “Understanding and Managing Stress”, Michèle and Kelly O’Donnell, in MCare 1992)
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Reflection and Discussion
**List three core qualities that are needed for the "safe people" in your life.
**List some organisational/group practices that help or hinder self-disclosure.
**What are some suggestions to adjust your organisational/group ethos--to provide safe outlets for personnel to authentically connect more with each other?