Member Care and Lausanne 3: Blog Five

Porn as Mission and Porn in Mission:

We are as Healthy as our Secrets

The Lausanne 3 Conference brought together some 4000 people this past October in South Africa. Here are excerpts from one of the seven MCA blogs at the Global Conversation portal at Lausanne 3.

The main question of this particular blog: How do pornography and other sexual addictions affect the people involved in mission?
Are they really such an issue? Yes, No, or Probably?!
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Porn as Mission? You bet. In fact, there is a major multi-billion industry whose mission is to convert you into a regular, paying, porn-using consumer.

Porn in Mission? You bet too. It’s insidious, ensnaring tentacles pop up almost everywhere it seems--in our daily lives, media, our thoughts--and even if we do not seek it out.

Here is a quick tool to help assess sexual addiction.

More on Porn. There is a continuum of involvement in pornography (or any other addictive behavior such as food, substance use, work, control). At one end some people include porn as part of their daily “coping routines.” Towards the other end some may “lapse” into porn periodically, minimizing its potentially lethal and addictive impact. Where are you and your colleagues on this continuum of porn usage? How freely can you discuss this reality in your mission/church setting?

Mission/aid workers are certainly not immune! Pornography destroys the beauty of our human sexuality, replacing it with a haunting, incapacitating bondage. The humans that create and proliferate porn want your money—they could care less about you. Pornography exploits millions of people including those whom mission/aid workers are trying to assist.

Like any serious addiction, you cannot overcome porn by sheer will power, or by yourself, or simply by exhorting yourself to never do “it” again. Healing takes time and discipline, strict accountability and utter honesty, close friends and tight internet controls. It requires understanding emotional and environmental triggers, learning/relearning healthy behaviors and healthy human sexuality. Take action now to help yourself and also others.

Courage! Remember, we are as healthy as our secrets.

http://www.covenanteyes.com/ (accountability tools for internet use)
http://www.sexhelp.com/ (resources and includes a self-assessment tool)
http://www.arabicrecovery.com/ (many resources for recovery in Arabic)
http://www.sa.org/ (support for sexual addictions including locations for support groups)
http://www.christianrecovery.com/ (resources/links for healing from addictions, abuse, trauma)
http://www.xxxchurch.com/ (Christian resources for sexual purity including podcasts/interviews)
http://www.safefamilies.org/ (oriented towards child protection/families, plus free internet filtering)
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/ (addiction resources; free courses for education/accountability)

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Reflection and Discussion
1. Take the assessment tool above. What did you learn about yourself?

2. How can porn use and sexual addictions be helped in your setting? How does culture play a role in identifying and dealing with such sexual issues?

3. Review the web sites above. What materials and resources seem to be the most helpful for you or others?

Member Care and the Hippocratic Oath, Part 7

Member Care Never Includes Sex

Diego Rivera, Dance of Tehuantapec, 1928

Como el pez en el río,
vicioso y riendo,
non piensa el sandío
la red quel’ van teniendo.

Sem Tob, 14th cnetury, Spain

Translation:

Imprudent people like careless fish get
trapped in their folly and caught in a net.

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In every house where I come
I will enter only for the good of my patients,
keeping myself far from all intentional ill-doing and all seduction
and especially from the pleasures of love with women or with men,
be they free or slaves.
Hippocratic Oath
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As member care providers and those with member care responsibility, we are committed to the good of those with whom we work. We do good and do no harm. We enter into many types of houses so to speak (the term used in the Hippocrates Oath) during the course of our work. Houses can be literal as well as represent peoples’ lives, organizations, countries, and cultures. We are trusted guests. No matter how helpful or beautiful or fun or anything one might wish to frame such an experience:

There is no ethical context
for having member care sex.

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So chill out. Take a cold shower. Stay accountable to colleagues. Because having sexual relationships with people who receive our services–-regardless of our world views or spiritual leanings--is a no go. Just don’t do it. And don’t even think about it. But do think about and stay in touch with your own sexuality.
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The same goes for romance, as you will note in the examples below of professional principles, codes, and laws. Remember there are millions of other foxes in the lea and fish in sea besides that "irresistible" person you are trying to “help.”
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Sexual Purity in Missions (p. 249-250)
Dr. Ken Williams in Doing Member Care Well, 2002
[Note: This article is also available in Chinese, Arabic, Spanish, Portuguese, and Korean. The article also includes two helpful self-assessment tools. The English and Chinese versions are available in Section Five (Special Issues) at http://www.chinamembercare.com/]
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Being sexual and sane these days is no easy thing …We need to be just as concerned about understanding the normal and healthy aspects of human sexuality as we are about its potential dangers and downside. What a powerful and lovely gift we have from the Creator!
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Professional Therapy Never Includes Sex, 2004, (p. 5)
California Department of Consumer Affairs
http://www.psychboard.ca.gov/formspubs/proftherapy.pdf
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Professional psychotherapy never includes sex. It also never includes verbal sexual advances or any other kind of sexual contact or behavior. Sexual contact of any kind between a therapist and a patient is unethical and illegal in the state of California. Additionally, with regard to former patients, sexual contact within two years after termination of therapy is also illegal and unethical.
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Sexual contact between a therapist and a patient can also be harmful to the patient. Harm may arise from the therapist’s exploitation of the patient to fulfill his or her own needs or desires, and from the therapist’s loss of the objectivity necessary for effective therapy. All therapists are trained and educated to know that this kind of behavior is inappropriate and can result in the revocation of their professional license.
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Therapists are trusted and respected, and it is common for patients to admire and feel attracted to them. However, a therapist who accepts or encourages these normal feelings in a sexual way — or tells a patient that sexual involvement is part of therapy — is using the trusting therapy relationship to take advantage of the patient. And once sexual involvement begins, therapy for the patient ends. The original issues that brought the patient to therapy are postponed, neglected, and sometimes lost.

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Many people who endure this kind of abusive behavior from therapists suffer harmful, long-lasting emotional and psychological effects. Family life and friendships are often disrupted, or sometimes ruined.
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Ethical Principles of Psychologists and Code of Conduct, 2002
American Psychological Association
http://www.apa.org/ethics/code2002.html
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Principle A: Beneficence and Nonmaleficence. Psychologists strive to benefit those with whom they work and take care to do no harm…Because psychologists' scientific and professional judgments and actions may affect the lives of others, they are alert to and guard against personal, financial, social, organizational, or political factors that might lead to misuse of their influence. Psychologists strive to be aware of the possible effect of their own physical and mental health on their ability to help those with whom they work.
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3.02 Sexual Harassment. Psychologists do not engage in sexual harassment. Sexual harassment is sexual solicitation, physical advances, or verbal or nonverbal conduct that is sexual in nature, that occurs in connection with the psychologist's activities or roles as a psychologist, and that either (1) is unwelcome, is offensive, or creates a hostile workplace or educational environment, and the psychologist knows or is told this or (2) is sufficiently severe or intense to be abusive to a reasonable person in the context. Sexual harassment can consist of a single intense or severe act or of multiple persistent or pervasive acts.
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10.05 Sexual Intimacies With Current Therapy Clients/Patients. Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with current therapy clients/patients.
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10.06 Sexual Intimacies With Relatives or Significant Others of Current Therapy Clients/Patients. Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with individuals they know to be close relatives, guardians, or significant others of current clients/patients. Psychologists do not terminate therapy to circumvent this standard.
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10.07 Therapy With Former Sexual Partners. Psychologists do not accept as therapy clients/patients persons with whom they have engaged in sexual intimacies.

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10.08 Sexual Intimacies With Former Therapy Clients/Patients.

(a) Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients for at least two years after cessation or termination of therapy.

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(b) Psychologists do not engage in sexual intimacies with former clients/patients even after a two-year interval except in the most unusual circumstances. Psychologists who engage in such activity after the two years following cessation or termination of therapy and of having no sexual contact with the former client/patient bear the burden of demonstrating that there has been no exploitation, in light of all relevant factors, including (1) the amount of time that has passed since therapy terminated; (2) the nature, duration, and intensity of the therapy; (3) the circumstances of termination; (4) the client's/patient's personal history; (5) the client's/patient's current mental status; (6) the likelihood of adverse impact on the client/patient; and (7) any statements or actions made by the therapist during the course of therapy suggesting or inviting the possibility of a posttermination sexual or romantic relationship with the client/patient. (See also Standard 3.05, Multiple Relationships.)
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Reflection and Discussion
1. To what extent do the above principles and codes (from the USA) apply to member caregivers with various backgrounds and in other countries? Can the above standards and caveats be written (or are they alredy written) in such a way as to be universal?
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2. What are some of the safeguards you and those in your setting have to avoid sexual intimicies with the people you are trying to help?
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3. What is the best way to handle a situation in which you are infatuated with a person (client, student, colleague, neighbour) and having a sexual or romantic relationship is likely although clearly not appropriate (due to marriage, the nature of your member care relationship, values, etc.).
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4. Condoms are currently handed out freely all over the globe. So will the  day ever come when it will be seen as OK or even "ethical" to give condoms to clients when they walk into our member care offices--and lives? Just in case something happens between helper and helpee?
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5. How should we respond to member caregivers who have sexual intimicies with those that they are trying to help?

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Note: This entry did not get into the topic of "intentional ill-doing" as stated in this part of the Hippocratic Oath. What would such "ill-doing" involve? Probably the exploitation of others for one's own selfish ends (e.g., overcharging, spreading gossip about a person, deceiving someone concerning credentials and qualifications, not admitting errors etc.).